just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
