that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
where am i from again
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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