Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Found the puke drawer
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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