I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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