Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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