seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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