I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
