i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
