Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
