If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
