if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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