Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
