It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
