If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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