It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
