Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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