Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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