the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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