hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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