this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
