Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
