I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
