Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
please don't ironically join a cult
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