Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
