There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
