We're like a lot better than the average bears
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
