That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my sisters under your porch take her home
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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