as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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