And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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