I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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