when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
