Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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