I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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