just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize