i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize
