Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
