and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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