i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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