He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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