i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
