Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I love having hate sex.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
