i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
