I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize