I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
