Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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