Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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