Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
