Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
