I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
