i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
