I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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