Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
