areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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