I hope mine doesn't look like that
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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