My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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