Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
