Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
