What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
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