your room smells of hookers.
And success
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
