so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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